I have wrestled with this post since early spring. "Do I write it?" or "Do I leave it?". I fight within myself to keep this blog completely innocuous (not harmful or offensive). I don't like debating, and I don't enjoy conflict, but this issue won't leave me alone. So I am jumping in.
It started when one of my friends posted on her Facebook wall something like this: "Thanks...lady in front of me at such and such church, for giving me a dirty look when my baby made a noise, not a crabby noise, just a happy baby noise". This was Easter, she and her husband decided to try a new church and I guess this was the outcome.
I am going to go out on a limb and guess that they didn't go back to that church.
The first thought that went through my head? "Wrong church. That is not how church should be. Churches should be full of life, of children making all sorts of noises".
This one post has mildly haunted me since then (mostly because I wanted her to have a better experience at church), then add a few other posts about "religion", hypocrisy, fraudulent behaviour, you name it. It seems like everyone has a thought about churches, religion, church leaders, etc...
Of course we live in a day when every person has about 2 seconds of fame about every two seconds. All they need is the ability to post something inflammatory on Facebook, Twitter, or whatever is popular right now.
There are a few things I need to say before I say anything else.
1) I am a Christian
2) I love the Church
I am not really interested in throwing myself into the fiery furnace of debating whether religion is the root of all violence and war in the world, nor am I interested in debating about church size or whether pastors should get paid or not.
What I do want to talk about is Jesus.
Say what you want about me, or other humans. We are all so flawed, so full of ourselves, our own hypocrisy. Don't even get me started on the "restore my faith in humanity" movement. I don't think my faith in humanity can or should be restored. I know all there is to know about humans and here it is: we are human.
Of course we are capable of great kindness, we are also capable of crimes so horrific it boggles the mind. None of us could ever claim perfection. Kindness? Maybe. Good intentions? Most of the time. Perfection? Never.
Around the same time as the Easter post, another friend from high school posted a sad article (she thought it was funny) about a priest inviting a family to come to their summer kids camp or something like that. The post included the whole dialogue between the dad and the priest. In the end, the dad explains why he will never darken the door of a church because his neighbour, a "Christian", had sexually abused him when he was a child. I felt like I had been punched in the gut when I read it. My friend, semi-apologized to all of her religious friends, but still said it was so funny it was worth the read.
I could go on. Friends, good people, have been legitimately hurt by church leaders and Christians. I could tell my own stories on that front, but let's be clear: these are humans trying to represent the Divine.
I am a leader in the church. I have failed people. I have lost my temper. I was young and foolish when I started, and I know that I hurt people. I was controlling. I spoke when I should have remained silent. I wasn't careful with peoples hearts. Even now, as hard as I try, I fail people and so would you if you were me. I could stay up 24 hours a day and do my best to never fail people, but there would always be someone for whom that is not enough.
Why?
We are asking humanity to fill a role that only God can fill.
Here is the reality of the situation: I am perfectly resistible because of all of the things I have done and will do in my humanity. But Jesus? Jesus is irresistible.
Jesus doesn't hate homosexuals, or alcoholics, or hypocrites, or church leaders that steal money from their people. He hates that the very people He died for would not see the gift of freedom and restoration He offers all of us at the cross.
I suppose my greatest prayer would be that people and their mistakes made while representing a holy God, would not deter any soul from a deliberate pursuit of knowing who He is.
If you want to know more, please tell me. I would love to talk about Him with you.